The Little Boat: A Log

Entry 001 · Day 1 of 30

Date: An ordinary Wednesday.

Location: Whatcom County. The afternoon spent at the courthouse, and in between: buses, walking, driving with Captain Gary, my stepdad, whose place I'm staying at.

Weather: Clear and beautiful. I did enjoy the weather today. The high was about 90°F.

Direction: Hope. Back to the beginning of a case that was closed before it accomplished anything. Reopening is not the same as starting. It's harder. I have to convince them that a door they already shut was shut wrong. I'm talking about DCYF. They had the resources and the ability to restore my family, but for five years they preferred to do nothing, watching my children suffer the trauma of separation while I frantically tried to help. I also have to find out what happened to my husband.

Obstacles: A building designed so that you don't know which question to ask. No income. No time. No home. No comfort. Restless nights, distance, and unpaid bills.

Accomplishments: This website. Hair-lightening day. A few pieces of writing, including this one. Several more job applications.

Q. What's the method?

A. Keep trying. Keep reaching out. Keep writing. Keep praying.

Q. What can't you write here?

A. I can write anything in my log. The challenge is to keep writing every day.

Q. Flashback memory. What did an ordinary Sunday sound like in that house?

A. On Sundays we didn't cook. We went out: a restaurant, a movie theater, or another project as a treat. Grace Church, if we ever went to church.

Good night! ✨

Admiral Nelson (female)