Family Collaboration

The Alphabet Series

You and me … Untangled tangle

More than words

I want to say.

The picture doesn’t make sense. Are you telling me that Angelina is the square faced character without legs? I shall tell you that legs are one important part of Angelina’s personality. If I could, I would make legs the whole lotta part of the portrait. But yes, the head is very important as well. Because my leggy daughter, is a brainy one as well.

By the way, this particular self-portrait she made long ago, when she was about 15 I suppose. Since we were not together, I cannot tell for sure. But we will find out later, I promise.

So, where do I begin? I will begin with letter A, because that is what she started the handmade book with.

It took me a while to figure out that EOL meant End Of Life and it was HUMOR. I was afraid, literally, to read the pages that she left for me, when she left for her college. I was afraid to find out that it was not humor. I was looking for her reflections in every pretty girl I met either online or in person. I was knocking on doors, stranded and wandering around, asking if they saw my daughter. No, I didn’t have a tumor. Perhaps PTSD. Another abbreviation for you to learn. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

But enough about ME.

Angelina And Anna (her younger sister)

Awesomeness. ALWAYS.

If this was a real address I would know she was serious about help. No. There was no help. But I didn’t expect it from her. I expected it from anyone but her. Because for me she was always a baby. My baby. Someone to protect. To love. To teach. To learn from. I loved to see her sleeping. The way she breathed. And smiled when she was asleep. It was precious. She smiled since she was born. Doctors said that babies are not yet smiling at the age, though she did! She was an ANGEL. I was a single mom before I married her dad Ryan. We were tangled together like one whole and then I was suddenly a broken piece,

ALONE

ALIENATED

ABANDONED.

Can we afford our family? In a world where money matters, it was scary to leave you dependent on people who did not care about justice, and love, and family. Our family is the most precious gift we have. But they didn’t care. They broke us into pieces. They violated all the rules possible. And yet they are getting alone with it. Because money does matter. They took us apart to take ours.

The world is crazy. Money is a tool. It depends who has it: a bad guy or a good guy. In our family the good guys were my daughters and me. Though we didn’t have money. Because they were children, and I was a woman, freshly immigrated from Russia,  who trusted my husband to have the family funds under control.

That was a mistake. Daughters, no matter how much you love and trust your husband, – keep your funds under your control.  In the men’s world, is you and your children who will be jeopardized, vulnerable and hurting if he is suddenly missing and together with him the family funds.

With her 💖 and without her ☹️🤕🤢🥴😵👎🏻

And this is the EOL for the section A in her book. I could read it forever. But it is over. Though, wait, because there is letter B.

P.S. did you read my Letter U?

Now you know what it is all about.

To be continued.